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i am here

 people have their own reasons for doing what they do. for me writing, in whatever form, is part of mental hygiene. i have been journaling forever (i.e. before it was hip) alongside with the more 'artsy' writing that i'm doing. i used to write letters etc, so maybe the blogging came as a replacement to the letters and the long e-mails. yes it was more impersonal because at times i had no idea who i was talking to, but i sort of grew into it. then last year i thought i grew out of it. then i saw side effects: once i stop writing in one place, i stop writing in the others too. writing just doesn't seem necessary anymore - and that could be ok for anyone else, but i'm finding out it's not ok for me. i have to keep writing regularly, and often, for personal accountancy and for whatever histrionic needs are left in me, and because this is how i manifest myself primarily as a person in this world.  another thing i thought, and overthought, was that this blog used to s

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